Accounting - basic accounting concept - learnt from craigslist

Around October 2007, a posting broke out from Craig's list, a popular search-and-list website based in the U.S. Long story short, I will treat this particular posting as a crashed course accounting, I will add few comments with *W* before I start. Please enjoy...

** and yes, this is a true story, true posting ***

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THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST - around Oct 07 , Posted by a young lady living in NYC, in Lady-seeking-Guys ads on craigslist

What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 100 - 150. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 150,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

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THE ANSWER - Posted by a banker in NYC
Dear xxxxxxx:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
(*W* - this guy used finance as an example. Perpetuity, in finance term, is a type of a bond which pays periodic coupon interest to the bond owner as long as he/she maintains the ownership of it. In simple words: perpetuity means forever. A simple perpetuity will be like bank deposit in a bank, assume that bank will never go bankrupt, then, your deposit will help you getting your interest income forever. That is the meaning of perpetuity.)

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
(*W* - Depreciating assets: Imagine you buy a car now, the first day you start to use it, the value decrease by 30%, and as time goes by, the value of the car drops. That is the meaning of depreciating assets. Earning assets: the value may or may not drop, but in the meantime, the assets will bring in profits for you. e.g. Renting out a residential apartment.)

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
(*W* - trading position, means quick turn around situation - you buy stock in the morning and sell it very soon, perhaps in the afternoon or next day.)
(*W* - Lease - in finance term: it stands for temporary rental agreement. It is like renting an apartment, you sign the lease or rental agreement. The key here in this statement is that the duration is "temporary", and that both parties can get out/ cancel contract easily.)

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
(*W* - Efficient market: A description of a market phenomena where the market "clears" any free-profit taking (or arbitrage) opportunity. For instance, you will never find a particular long waiting line outside a series of tollboths, as drivers will go and search the shortest waiting line - i.e. all lines should have about the same number of cars waiting. This is called the efficient market driven situation - the market will avoid any opportunity taken by any individual and everyone will be pretty much treated the same. In this comment, the guy basically said if the girl were so beautiful as described, efficient market will help her to find her partner very soon. If not, something must be wrong with her so that the "market" won't clear that out.)

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

1 comment:

  1. Good article! A trading position ... reminds me of our business which is to trade volatility.

    ReplyDelete